“He who pursues righteousness and loyalty…

finds life, righteousness, and honor.”  Proverb 21:21

How do we honor a man of God whose time here is fading, whose body is slowly ceasing function?

Around the world people are praying, awakened in the night with Dad on their hearts. It is truly an amazing thing to see and experience – being carried by prayer. Cards, emails, and visitors from all walks of life have come to share their love and thanks to one who laid down his life for the service of his King. They want to esteem this couple who traded the corporate “good life”  for a missionary’s suitcase. Because now the two will soon become one in the coming weeks or days.

Dad is leaving us.

How can I express my love and admiration for the fight, for the brave warring this man has done against a terrible foe? Cancer may rattle its saber. It may gnash its teeth against his flesh and bone. But all is quiet when his warrior bride stands to worship. His drifting mind, full of morphine and chemicals and mixed signals comes into a place of rest as the music begins to flow. and his spirit sings. And then HE sings – words that would not form are suddenly carried on a tune from battles and victories past.  He looks to his future. “Nothing but the Blood of Jesus”, ” it is well with my soul”, “In Christ alone I put my trust…..in Christ alone.”

My care for him is how I honor my father-in-law. Allowing Jesus to fill me with His compassion, see with His eyes, speak with His words. This is our portion - a heart that overflows with love until it is broken. This is our honor – to serve the one in front of us with that love.  Jesus shows us the way.

So I lend my voice to the song, sharing an extravagant moment with Mom and Dad. Easing my own weariness in the wonder of God’s Name raised high – high above the circumstance, high above the disease, high above sadness and loss. And our perspective is changed. We regain the heavenly view. Pain is defeated. Healing is just on the other side of that door. The Lord holds our times in His hand.

A man of God is almost home.

tears unwept – an evening with Dad

I press my hand to his forehead. For love, for a temperature check, for a prayer. And he willingly allows me the honor, his daughter-in-law checking him over.

This is Grace.

And I pray silently, quietly as I kneel beside the couch where he lays shifting with pain and disease. His wife stretches out her small, capable hands to touch his feet, doing the same checks from the other side. We pray together and apart. My mind sees the gulf of 25 years between us. I study the years as if they were minutes, thinking how the roles could shift in a blink of an eye. My heart feels the joy and the pain and the angst of life as I search with my lips for my Saviour – my Comforter. She finishes her words out loud, calling on the precious Blood of Jesus for his body’s every deficiency – his every need.

I still have no words to say. My eyes fill to the edges with tears I dare not spill just now. Help me God.  ”Peace, peace and again peace” rings in my ears. So I whisper those words. My only English prayer. Peace for his mind, peace for his body, peace for his spirit. We three rest here in a quiet place. His body begins to ease slowly, slowly. My emotions graciously take a step back so that I can talk with him, ask questions, speak with Mom about getting him upstairs for the warm bed waiting. He agrees and is able to move as his body swings toward a different cycle where walking and talking is not such a struggle. Just this afternoon, he’d taken a walk in the beautiful sunshine and glistening snow. Now the path from one room to another seems a further trek.

So here we are, another day walked through this unknown valley. We need to keep our eyes fixed on the Shepherd. Looking around and looking too far ahead is not an option – I would lose my footing. Somewhere around here is a place where He will lead me, beside quiet waters where the sound of my tears will be heard by Him alone. And my soul will be restored.

Tomorrow is another day with Him.

Christmas Countdown from a Household with Five Kids

It must be Christmas. I found a magazine on the floor of my bathroom last week. Now, that doesn’t seem too out of the ordinary. But it was a LEGO catalog, opened to a specific page and  positioned – how shall I say this – where I could NOT miss seeing it. The kid’s a pro. He takes after his Dad.

Christmas Excitement has ramped up to full SQUEAL around here. I thought I might share some of it with you and throw in a bit of Christmas wisdom from the kids. Enjoy…

You know it’s getting close to Christmas when:

Hot chocolate overtakes ketchup in the household’s consumer ratings poll

The ten-year old wakes up with a toy catalog stuck to his head because that was last night’s reading (and the night before that, and the night before that…)

The almost thirteen year old bounces up and down the hallway singing carols at the top of her range while the two-year old follows closely behind keeping rhythm with giant jingle bells (I am SURE I hid those better than that) and the five-year old rounds out the sound with pot lid cymbals.

The seven-year old dismantles the art supply closet and sets up shop on the kitchen table. Christmas cards and works of art are being massed produced for everyone she can possibly think of. Warning: there may be a world-wide shortage of glitter soon coming.

Any box posted through our door becomes fair game to the shake/peek/sniff  brigade. There is almost no hope for anything marked “USA.”

Christmas music can be heard in every corner of the house – “Silent Night” on the piano, “Jingle Bells” on the violin, “Rock’n around the Christmas Tree” in the kitchen, and “We wish you a Merry Christmas” up and down the stairwell – preferably all at the same time either right before the school bus is due or way past bedtime or ANYTIME the phone rings!

The naughty / nice concept subtly shifts to the  THEY were naughty / but I was nice  or  It was’ne me / Look what I did  category.

According to our Fabulous Five:

Candy canes and Christmas cookies are just as good for breakfast as they are for dinner.

Any red or green clothing is considered festive wear this season. Gentlemen, try combining your camo pajama bottoms with a Spiderman costume top. Ladies, a red gingham bathing suit is really rather fetching with green wellie boots and your father’s plaid scarf tied around your waist for “warmyness.”

Zebras and Viking soldiers should be allowed in the nativity scene. So should hay from the chicken’s nesting boxes…and what about some crackers for the camel? And are you sure that star is hanging precisely in the East???

Snowfall must be announced immediately to the entire household, followed by lots of shrieking and a quick change into outdoor clothes. Bring a flashlight because it’s probably 4:37 am. Do not re-enter house until parents have had their third cup of coffee or you may be moved to the Naughty List permanently.

Christmas ornaments are to be rotated daily so that each have a turn “up front.”  Hint: try not to fall into the tree when balancing on the arm of the couch and don’t use a sister to cushion your fall to the floor.

And the number one piece of Christmas wisdom, sung by our son when he was but five….

When the Christmas rush is overtaking you, when nothing seems to fit and the cookies burned and the dog licked up all the eggnog…it is time to sing that well known carol   “The First Noel”   chorus with this one change of phrase:

“Ooh, well…Ooh, well!    Ooh well…oh well!   Born is the King of Israel!”

Jesus really IS the reason for this season. May the Love and Joy and Peace He brings fill your homes and hearts this Christmas.

Merry Christmas ya’ll!!!

Psalm 23 – Unseen Treasure – Part 5

 

Your vision has returned - you can see beside you and on ahead. Amazingly, though the terrain is much the same, your gait is smoother and the pace shifts.  Miles have gone by but your strength renews and your eyes are searching as you press through the valley. There is something the Shepherd wants you to find. Why does this place seem so familiar? The smell of despair triggers painful memories. A dark shape crouches across the path. You want to turn around but the Shepherd’s staff gently moves  you forward. The light that is around you shifts darkness to the side as you approach a bent and broken person. Your heart swells with love because you recognize their wounds. You carry those same scars. As you reach out to the one in front of you, the Shepherd’s oil drips down from your fingertips and falls like rain…

My cup overflows

El Shaddai – All sufficient     The God of more than enough    Elroi – God who sees

Overflow – from abundance, saturation   Overflows – present tense, continuing

Out of the depths of where we’ve been – from our most desolate valley experiences – we enter a season, an anointing of OVERFLOW. The Good Shepherd has given us renewed purpose and everything we need to accomplish it. God is so faithful. We receive the gift of being filled back up, the JOY of being satisfied after having run dry. But He goes further than that. “Overflow” is the point past saturation. There is so much that we should leak. There is a purpose to this overflow state. God is extravagant but He is not wasteful.  This anointing is to flow over the edges of our lives and into the lives of those around us. We are  to pour out onto others that which He has so generously poured into us. 

It may be five minutes later or five years on, but the oil of that anointing and infilling is ready to flow when the Holy Spirit brings you someone in need. Maybe they come to you seeking help or advice. Their words or circumstance or grief tap the well inside you. And out of your own valley experience - where Jesus met you, anointed you and filled your cup - comes the balm that heals. It becomes a drink to the one who is parched. Following His example, we give of ourselves freely and generously to meet that need. Then we are stepping into that place where the Shepherd has longed for us to be, where we can sustain the weary one with a word (Isaiah 50:4) and tend His sheep (John 21:16) , bind up the broken hearted and set the captives free. (Isaiah 61:1)

 You sit down in the dirt with this troubled soul, a puddle of oil around you both. And you share your heart as you share the food stored from the Master’s table. Taking out strips of cloth, you carefully soak them in the overflow of your anointing oil and gently dress her wounds. You’re in no rush, there is all the time in the world.  There is no place you would rather be – The Shepherd has drawn near to sing.

little fingers – holy hands

and a little child shall lead them…  (Isaiah 11:6)

An amazing thing happened at church yesterday. Real worship, true heart abandon could be witnessed in the assembled choir down front – and most members were under 4 feet tall.

Our Kids For Truth children’s church came in to lead the worship and recite scripture to the congregation. Ten weeks of hard work, memorizing questions & answers, earning badges, singing and repeating verses in the car, the bathtub, at the dinner table and everywhere in between came to this moment when the children stood down front to get us moving and praising “JESUS!”  –  to show us that hiding the Word of God in our hearts  (Psalm 119:4) is still possible and relevent for today.

We were stirred to worship, clap and shout by these little Davids giving praise with all their might  (2 Samuel 6:14). And then we were all stunned to silence and to listen – holding our collective breath as the children from oldest to youngest shared their wisdom about the Bible and spoke word for word the verses from their hearts.

Four of my babies were up there and my eyes stayed with them most of the time. And the Lord showed me something I did not expect to see. During a quiet worship song, we were all encouraged to raise our hands as we would like, to express our hearts to Him. And that’s when I saw it – each of my children’s hearts being opened to the Lord.

My eldest held her hands out from the waist. Her eyes were closed and she was quietly worshipping. It was as if she was receiving something precious and holding something precious at the same time. Her heart was open and ready for whatever the Holy Spirit wanted to do in that gentle moment.

My oldest son stood with his feet apart, eyes closed and head bowed. His arm extended straight out in front of him. His heart was honoring the King of kings. His heart was not afraid.

Our five-year old kept her eyes shut tight. She was not looking around. Instead she was singing - singing with everything she’s got. She held one hand tight to her chest, keeping its treasure safe. Her heart was honest.

Then I spied my seven-year old. She was a sight to behold with arms outstretched like wings and her head tilted back as far as it could go. It was as if she was waiting for a hug as she sang to Jesus. Her heart was being emptied of love and refilled with Love all at the same time.

Our fifth child was with me. He loved the music and seeing his family up there, but he was not ready be in that place. He didn’t want me to put him down either. Instead he danced with me, moved with me, praised with me as I worshipped the Lord. He’s young and learning. His heart was listening.

We all come to the place of worship from different directions, different stages in our walk with Him. No matter where we come from, we can ALL go to a place of intimacy and Divine exchange – if we come with an open heart. My children differ in age and understanding of God, yet each of them met with Jesus on Sunday. And He LOVED every minute of it.

They bound themselves in a covenant to seek God…wholeheartedly, holding nothing back….they had given their promise joyfully from the heart. Anticipating the best, they sought God and He showed up – ready to be found.

(2 Chronicles 15:12/15 – The Message)

Psalm 23 – Unseen Treasure – part 4

You are out of everything. There is no more food or water. There is no light - there is barely any hope. Rocks and debris shift and fall from the towering cliffs on either side of your valley. The enemy is closing in fast and your only way out is to keep moving ahead, but exhaustion and darkness keep you motionless. Negative words are being hurled at you again and again because the enemy sees your weakened state and enjoys picking on an easy target. Doubt weighs down your very breath.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies

Jehovah Nissi  -  0ur banner of victory

Prepare – “a rak”  to arrange, to set in order. Also used as a battle term – ARRAY(ED) draw up/formations/battle

This dry and lonely place is perfect for the kill. There’s no end in sight and no source of help to be found. Their snickering echoes off the rocks and roars in your ears. But then… then  The Source of all Life reveals His position – right by your side. A table appears just within your reach, the color and surface of it glowing as if it belongs to another realm. They stare in disbelief. The Shepherd, our Servant King ties on an apron and sets the table for two.

Not at the end of the valley, but right in the middle of it, Jesus arranges a place of provision. He knows how to sustain the weary one with a Word (Isaiah 50:4). He honors us directly in front of those who despise us. We come to the abundance of His table and we are nourished and filled once again. He sets out COMMUNION – the bread and the wine – reminding us of our covenant together. There is Light in the darkness and the darkness is fleeing fast. Hope is restored and our strength is renewed.

Confusion is thrown back into the enemy’s camp as the WORD bread is broken and consumed. They are repelled at the sight of the Blood of Jesus in your cup. Suddenly fear and terror sweep through the ranks as you carefully pick up your fork. Why? because they see the sword of the Lord in your hand. Spears and shields are revealed as the table set for a meal becomes a display of weaponry, authority and strategy. All this while you and your Beloved share a quiet moment together. Jesus is reminding YOU of His love, sustaining grace, and blood-bought victory.  The Shepherd is also putting on a show of might and power, proving to the enemy that you are His, bought with a price. He is reminding THEM that they are already defeated.

And suddenly this place of weakness and loss becomes the place of your equipping. Now you have been given something that cannot be taken away. NO ONE, NO THING can ever take away the truths we grasp a hold of in the valley of the shadow of death. They become part of us, a deep treasure found in the midst of pain. Why? Because we are emptied out. And Almighty God moves to imprint, impress a facet of Himself into our very being. This treasure becomes part of who we are.

Guard through the Holy Spirit who dwells in us, the treasure which has been entrusted to you.  2 Timothy 1:14

You have anointed my head with oil  

Jehovah M’Kaddesh - our sanctification

The Holy Spirit – Oil for the journey.  We are not out of the valley yet, there are miles still to go. So our Shepherd marks this place -and us- with an anointing. Oil heals, soothes and comforts. It sets us apart, cleanses, seals and preserves us. Holy Spirit anoints, falls, pours out, pours onto, and fills. (Acts 10) The oil of the Holy Spirit seals the work that has just been done and softens us for further work down the road. This anointing is a constant reminder of His Presence – the fragrance of Him. The Lord gives us a garland instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the mantle of praise instead of a spirit of fainting so that we will be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that HE may be glorified. (Isaiah 61)

Strengthened and encouraged, we take all that is ours from the table. And we step out onto the path of righteousness once again…still in the valley. But the way is not as dark and the sound that fills our ears is the song He sings over us as we continue on.

 

Sunday run amuck

Sunday - a day of rest. Time to unwind and relax together as a family, right?   RIGHT???

evidence of things gone all mucky

I was just beginning to ease myself into a new magazine, having enjoyed church, braved the grocery shopping, and done the dinner when our little girls knocked and called out at the back door…

“Mooom, Daaad! We fell into a mud pit!” they shouted. Giggles and squishy, slosh-y sounds echoed down the hall.

Peter got there first. The moment of stunned silence was shortly followed by a big Daddy bear roar. All giggling ceased as the seriousness of the situation was explained to the two mud balls standing before us. They had decided to “play” in the muck around the barn. The SMELL was unbelievable!  The poop was in their hair, rubbed on their faces, covering their clothes and skin EVERYWHERE. October or not, they would have to be hosed down, stripped down and hosed off again before being allowed in the house. After that traumatic experience, they were marched to the shower to defrost and be scrubbed yet again with SOAP, lots of soap…and shampoo and conditioner and more soap and possibly a bottle of perfume just for good measure. SIGH…where did my quiet Sunday afternoon go?

 

awaiting judgement

let the spraying begin

it was so sticky - Momma had to take over

this ia AFTER being hosed down

I will never play in the muck again...I will never play in the muck again...

 

Just another Sunday afternoon down on the farm.

Did I mention I hate this kind of handwashing?!

Psalm 23 – Unseen Treasure – part 3

Where are we going – how can this possibly be the right way? Your mind races through the questions as your eyes take in the changing landscape and the yawning darkness covering the path ahead. Clinging to the edge of His robe, you stumble as the ground falls away from your feet. But His staff catches you by the ribs and you are righted in your step…

 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death

Have you ever noticed that the “paths of righteousness” actually go through valleys, the lowest and most vulnerable of places – how can this be? There are no easy answers. Jesus said “In this world you have tribulation, but take courage: I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33) ”And we know that God causes all things to come together for good to those who love the Lord, to those who are called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28) Here is the place where all things are tried and tested. The Word and the Spirit – what did we really eat and drink? The times alone with our Shepherd, the taking of His Name – did we really hear His voice, do we know who we are in Him? The journey thus far – where have we been and where are we going? In the valley of the shadow of death, there seems to be more questions than answers. And yet God is the I AM, the Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End…so…

I fear no evil, for You are with me

Jehovah-Shammah – God who is there 

Hebrews 13:5 “…He himself has said I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you.” 

To be sure, evil is there. The circumstance- the impossible mountains on either side of an exposed and vulnerable path are real. But our God is an awesome God! Greater is He who is within us than he who is in the world. He is a very present help in time of trouble. We can reach out in that dark place and touch Him still. He is faithful and true and not a man that He should lie. He is THERE in the midst of our darkest hour.The Good Shepherd never leaves his charge.

Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me

Rod (sha bet) rod, spear, tribe, club, sceptre

Even in this terrible place, there is comfort. By His mighty right hand, the Lord welds His rod, using it as a club on our enemy’s head. Using it as a spear to fend off the fear that tries to chase us. Showing it to represent our TRIBE, upholding us as His, proclaiming our bloodline is His very own. He holds out the rod as a sceptre, the symbol of his power and Kingly authority. And at the same time, He extends it toward us - for we are highly favored even in this place. For such a time as this.

“I will lift my eyes up to the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth. He will not allow your foot to slip; He who keeps you will not slumber.” Psalm 121:1-3

His staff comforts me because with it He keeps me in all His ways. It is an extension of His hand. When the path is narrow, when I cannot see, His staff rights my way. If I try to run in panic, He slows me down. If I am frozen with fear and doubt, He brings me around. The comfort is in knowing, sensing, seeing His hand at work on our behalf. It is not some distant set of directions. Our Shepherd is in the midst of our every circumstance, seeking to guide us – always in the right direction.

 

and now a word from our Sponser… (true story)

ENCOURAGEMENT

There are times when we all need a kind word, hope for a difficult situation, a push in the right direction. Family and friends come in handy for just such an occasion (Proverbs 17:17). But there are some things they cannot really touch or see. These are the times when we encourage ourselves – like David did ( 1 Samuel 30:6). However there are moments in life when none of us can even begin to know where to start, how to break through, what will make the difference.

Then in steps God.

I have been invited to go to Kenya as part of a ministry/missions team. What an honor! God had already been speaking some quiet words to my heart of hearts about Africa – Kenya specifically – so I am getting excited about what’s ahead. As we meet and strategize, the Holy Spirit drops an amazing idea into my head about how to raise money for the women in prisons there. Now we’re talking vision and Matthew 25. I gather our church women’s ministry team around me and share my heart. They catch the vision and work to start putting this plan into action. We speak about it at our Women’s Event and it is well received. God is working. I continue planning for the trip, looking at flights and itineraries with the team leader. I even start my rounds of injections. News is spreading and it is good.

Then life on the home front takes some turns. Sharp and fast. My husband and I look at the situation and we both see that there is no way for me to go to Africa this year. It is not possible. Our place, my place is at home as the care of family and the extra load of the business must be shouldered and shared by us. I make one very painful phone call. It is the right thing to do. I feel God’s hand and His grace – but still I cry when I say that I cannot go.

I am graciously given leave with prayer and blessing and words of other trips that will be taken. It is the right thing to do, but my heart is still heavy. I say nothing to family or friends for the moment. What can I say? Who can see my valley? I put it on hold and get on with the dishes, the laundry, the kids. The calendar says I have another injection to get on Friday. I don’t want to go. I don’t want to have to explain to the nurse that I am not going to Africa after all. I really don’t want to cry in front of her.

But then Friday comes and I decide to go. I take a step of faith  -  I will being going to Africa someday, so I might as well finish this round. I pack up the baby and drive to the doctor’s. Without words I am praying for the strength to face the questions – to answer them without losing it in front of an unsuspecting stranger. I sit in the waiting room while the two year old attacks the play area. And then it’s my turn to go in. The nurse shuffles through my paperwork and asks me how things are going with the fundraising. I had told her all about it the last time we met, so there is no escape for my heart. I tell her I cannot go and why. I am able to hold it together (grace) as I explain that the trip is still on and we’re still going to reach out to the women in prisons there.

The nurse reaches back behind her desk and pulls out an envelope. “I passed the hat at my walking group. Here’s a wee bit of money for them.” The envelope has my name on it with a £50.00 donation. I don’t know what to say. Now the tears that had done so well to hide were running to the corners of my face. “Thank you” I whisper. “You have no idea how much this means to me.” She makes herself busy with the medication as I straighten myself out and roll up my sleeve.

All this time, my son has been sitting beside me playing in his own little world. Now he turns to me with a very serious face as the nurse puts the needle in my arm…

“It ouch-y Mommy?” he asks, searching my teary eyes.

“No, baby” I say “it’s not ouch-y now.”

Faith – Hope – Encouragement. What a God we serve.

gifts from the garden – ick!

This is what my son brought in from the garden:

 

He was so very proud…

 

 

Look Mommy – they’re just like pasta!

 

 

Can we eat them for dinner – pleeeease???

 

No, baby. But Rexy (the gecko) can!