broken at the red light

I am unaware and unavailable.

Music up, sunglasses on, driving to a schedule and preoccupied with a to-do list, my only distraction is a red light that has brought me to a momentary stop.

In a split second I am blindsided, knocked completely off my track. I am not wrecked by any vehicle. No, it is something far more powerful than that. I am struck by a person – hit by a human condition.

He’s just come out from the train station and is walking my way.

Weaving and off-balance,  this young guy holds out his arms as if he is on some tangled tightrope. Thinking he’s drunk or high, I feel the urge to lock my door. But as I watch from the corner of my eye I see he’s mentally or physically challenged. My heart takes a hit as the sting of my misjudgment sinks in. Others are probably  making that same wrong assumption. Hit number two. My heart starts to pound and ache as I see his awkwardness being exposed in such a public place. He gets enough balance to make his way down the hill past my car. He turns his face away from the road, avoiding the looks as best he can. Hit number three. My heart splits to see that his search for dignity is on the opposite side of me.

The light changes, but I struggle to find a gear to move on.

Tears run as the wheels roll. Pulling up to the next red light, I try to hold it together for the audience waiting at the bus stop. I can’t. My pain is exposed for all the world to see and there is nothing I can do to explain my circumstance. I am at the mercy of their judgement call.

“God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7

God caught me out at a traffic light and put a stop to my apathy and presumption. High or disabled, disturbed or lost & forgotten, that man was once someone’s little boy. My mother’s heart and his heavenly Father’s heart breaks for him to be whole. Sometimes, we need to be wrecked for the sake of another.